Sunday, December 29, 2013

Christmas Holiday Glory

Ah feels good to be back to my computer.! I travelled for the Christmas Holidays to visit my family and it was the best time ever! Hope you had a swell time this Christmas as well?

It wasn't all crazy and ish but it was really really good. Tons and tons of good food and drinks and desserts! I had a whole lot to eat! I also hung out with my bestest friends and it just felt good. Safe. Amazing. It reminded me so much of our childhood...Chai! I really really miss being a little kid! *smdh. The Christmas and New year holidays as an Igbo child was the best! I hope i give my kids the same cool holidays my parents gave me. No complaints here. My parents always went all out the holiday season! Never a dull moment and no regrets. My last kid holiday was the last one i spent in my Igbo village in Naija. December 2005. Man, I wish i could go back to that Christmas holiday every damn year...*smh. We cant have all we wish for right? lol. Moving On...albeit grudgingly.

Now I'm back to work. My adult life! Arrrrrgggghhhh! Every day needs to be Christmas mehn... Every day needs to be Christmas...*sigh
Ok ok im done. lol. Now back to my perky "i love the whole world attitude". hahahaha. Walk with me :):) #leggo

The First Call Is The Sweetest. Part 2

Exactly two hours later, i get a call on my phone. There was no caller id as i said earlier so i naturally thought it was a Nigerian number calling me. I had one person in mind as the caller. One of my best friends, Tesy. I answered the call speaking pidgin English and with my mouth all filled with yam. hahaha... dont judge me. I thought i was talking to my girl-friend. The funny thing was i went on about something... I Cant remember what but it took a few seconds for me to actually hear a man's voice.

When i heard a lil chuckle and a man's voice, Omo i scrambled to swallow sharp sharp and to get my sexzzzy voice I still didnt know who it really was, so i had to ask. When he said Dimples...haaaa my heart started doing the pounding thing. I was like what? He is calling already? lol. Expect this time i wasn't speaking with my face or keeping quiet and thinking in my head. I actually said the words out loud. I think i was like why are you calling me...shouldn't you wait the normal 3 days? lol. That came from the nervousness i guess. He just laughed! That laugh! My Lawd! Some sexzzzy something. I really liked it and for a sec i think found myself wishing he was face to face talking with me...

Now i still remember everything so let me give you a lil transcript.

He(in response to my blunt question above): i couldn't wait to talk to you. Ive been waiting a whole week. as soon as i got the green light of sorts i went for it. (I laughed). I actually got your number from Karen. But i never did call because she wanted "boyfriend/cousin" to talk to me about him first and get my approval.
Me: oh really? cool story. You know you could have asked me in the car for my number?
He: well first of...i couldn't really make up my mind if i wanted to ask a girl who snores so loudly when shes sleeping for her number...
Me (cuts in...very What? snore? I do NOT! no way. You are lying.
He: buahahahahaha... ok if you say so. Maybe you were singing...
Me:(thinking) Chineke muo! Chai! Did i really snore in this fine boy's car? do i snore? Chai! My people my liver started to fail me o! Inukwa how my bride price just decreased?  I was a huge mess in my
He:(noticing my silence) You should hear me when I'm sleeping. My sister says i sound like a chu chu train. *he was laughing
Me:(relaxing) *I started laughing too* We should take notes from each other...
#Phew...that was a nice save. Dimples was really great with words. He always said what he wanted to say but made sure not to make it sound too malicious or insulting. More on that later.

He was in Germany hence the no caller id thingy. He was gonna be out there for another 2 months for work. I was so disappointed when he said that but, He was gonna be back at least so i took solace in that. Time flew o! We talked for like an hour! That was the longest i had ever lasted on a phone call with a boy abi man. lol. And i wouldn't have noticed it sef if my phone didnt beep to tell me my battery was low. Honestly it was the best first phone call ever! I loved listening to him talk and the accent had me mehn... Yea yea i didn't really understand everything he was saying but i sha tried to keep up. It wasn't all him though, I talked too. That was really a big score for me cos normally i would just be like "mmm","hmmm","yea" and "uh huh". lol. Short curt answers so i can get off the phone quickly. Phone conversations wasn't designed for me. I'm more of a text girl. I'd text or bbm you for eternity...just don't ask me to call cos ya aint gonna hear that phone ring. lol.

He promised to call me again. Because of the time difference he asked when it would be ok for him to call. I let him know. I could feel his excitement, mine was well coded sha. I was trying to give off the female ego thing of ,"if you want you call, you like dont call". E no go pain me. I wont be waiting on you. hahaha... i think i nailed it that day though. Not that it was necessary. I knew in my heart he was going to call again and i was looking forward to it.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The first call is the Sweetest.

It was a hectic school and work week for me the week after the birthday party. I didn't even have time to take two showers a day. lol. And thats a big deal for me cos i must shower 2ice a day o. If i dont i am always so uncomfortable and it feels like im cheating on my Sounds cray cray...i know! hehehe* I was always very exhausted at the end of the day and i just ended up on the bed or the couch. It wass whichever one i sat on first that got me for the night. lol.

My friend Karen came by after my tests on Friday night to pick me up. Yea I still didn't have my glasses. The eye clinic people had said it was gonna take about 2 weeks to get a new one. I was still waiting on it. I avoided all kinds of night paroles that week and also employed my classmate as my driver for the week. That broke child had me filling up her tank every 2days. The cheap "bagger"! I love her still though!

Karen and my other friend Trace made it their weekend mission to always drag me out wherever they were going out at night. Not just at night sha...afternoon sef join. Them sabi waka o! They know every every. When I sha saw her that Friday night, I immediately remembered Dimples. Dimples! Ive only remembered him once or twice or thrice since the birthday party but Hey! who was counting? Not me! lol. I wanted to ask her alot of questions about him though. Where was he? How old was he? What kind of person he was...etc etc. But I didn' I kept my thoughts to myself. I had a hectic schedule already and adding boy matter to my struggle was gonna be a huge load. I decided to let the matter rest.

We had a great time that night. I'm never one to get dressed and start heading out on my own to meet friends, but if I'm dragged out, I always make sure to have a good time. I love dancing. alot! I hear good music and the craze hits me! lol. Also i get dragged out by them cos Karen and Tracy need a sober driver. I don't drink but they do. My alcohol stories will come in later posts. Me and Anyway when I drive them back we always end up spending the night at Karen's place. Karen didn't drink this particular night though. Their regular designated driver(me) was battling legal blindness.  Hahahaha...

The next morning I was supposed to get a ride back home from K. I had to be home before 9am so i could baby sit the lil ones at home. The lil bish that called herself Karen wouldn't get up from bed to give me a ride. No be say she drink o! Chai! She can sleep for the whole of Texas, and then some. She sha called her ever loving boo and the guy came to the lazy bones house that early in the morning to give me a ride home. His home was only 5mins away though. Thank God for that! 

I got into his car and we said our hello's. This is one nice guy I Nothing like one of your best friends of marriageable age finding a great guy. You find yourself constantly thanking God for her. Oh i forgot to mention Karen had about 6 years on me. lol. Why are we friends you are thinking ba? She is like my big sis...from another mother. The best! Im thankful to God for her! Also for some reason i have a lot of older friends. i love it though! I learn alot from them.

Le boyfriend of Miss Karen interrupted my thoughts and said "aren't you going to ask about Dimples?". I turned sharply to look at him with my eyes wide open. I was thinking, "What?"! My stomach turned. I knew i was visibly flushed. lol. That's the thing with me...I won't really talk o, but you can definitely read my response on my face. Hahahaha... Sometimes though! Not all the time. lol. 

The look on my face had him laughing. He then said something like I can see you are curious about him too. I thought "too"? The F he means too? Wait Dimples was curious about me too? I wasn't saying it out loud but my facial expression was doing all the talking.! K's boyfriend was just laughing his lil butt off. I wasn't offended or nothing though. lol.  I was doing the dougie in my mind! Heey! Doug-ing for a lil joy. Just a little though. A lil. lol.

He told me a lil about his cousin and then asked if it was ok to give him my number. I smiled and he was like so that's a yea? I nodded. He then made me promise he would be the only candidate for the best man job. lol. Funny guy... like the bride chooses the groom's best man. And Oga mi was just Running faster than his shadow. ;)

I got home, and I swear exactly 2hours later I got a call. It was a private number calling, so I automatically thought it was my Naija people bugging as usual. lol. I mean bugging in a good way. I'm not in Nigeria but somehow I'm always fed gist about everything and everyone. Sometimes it tire to dey answer their calls o but I love each and every one of my friends for always having me in mind. It's like I never left them and it feels great to still be in constant touch. 

This post don long o! Let me do part 2 for 
To be continued! And thanks for reading my posts! Hugzzzzzzz ;)

Monday, December 23, 2013

A little on Love and Basketball.

 I  dont know what you are thinking but there is no real love and basketball story like the one in the movie going on here o! It just made for a catchy title. lol. Ah! ehn  so yesterday one of my favorite celebrity black couple got engaged. lol. I know i said i dont stan for celebrities but when it comes to my favorite basketball team... Im a die hard fan. Well maybe a lil... hehehe

The Miami Heat owns my heart in the sport game. haaa Its not like I'm some sport fanatic o! Before the guys reading this will be like wifey material alert. Taaaa... i cant stand all that Football, soccer, baseball, golf, hockey and whatever else kind of sport that gets you all crazy. lol. Basketball is the only sport i can stand. I actually got into it when the whole Lebron leaving the "crybaby" Cleveland team was happening. I felt so bad reading and watching people just bash him. I wanted to be there for the guy and at least be among the little fraction of people showing a lil support. He was just getting so much hate from what seems like the whole "frikin" country! Good gad! Some people take this pro sports thing way too seriously. Anyway I started watching him play and i used google to learn about basket ball. I soon started to enjoy it though and i graduated to watching other teams and not just his team play. I totally love basket ball, especially the players *wink wink**

Hotness all over the court. Tall dark and fine hot chocolates and The vanilla's are pretty *whistles*

I cant ever date a basketball player though (not that there is one checking for me but still...). The key word being player. lol. I honestly dont know how the women that are married to them, or the ones that are dating them (or think they do it. Ive seen Basketball wives(babymamas/sideho-es).  All the groupie gists i hear about...AH no o! Also wonder why the ball players dont use protection if they are going to sleep around? TMZ is always carrying one story or the other about a player with multiple baby mamas in court for child support. How women still open legs for these Keziahs( multiple egg i dont understand. I mean gosh! they could be carrying all kinds of diseases and you still gonna let a one night stand hit you raw? #yuck! Gad have mercy on all of y'all. lol.

As for me i no dey ever do o. Haaaaaa...The money and the reality abi tabloid fame aint important to me like that. What use is the money when my heart is not at peace ehn? Thank God for basket Ball wives the tv show mehn... i for no know all these nonsense going on in their world.
I'm sha ok admiring the basket ball players from my tv screen. I hate crowds so i aint never going to any stadium to see anyone live. lol. my tv works just fine thank you. I will keep my money. haha

Well Congrats to the newly engaged couple D Wade and Gabrielle Union. Team Miami Heat all day and errtime till Lebron James ports to another team and i go follow am port too. Na follow the master thingz i dey na ...hahahaha.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

The Car ride. My race

My family needed my help urgently so i had to go. I just had a lil problem, i didnt have my car with me.  I didn't have my glasses so i couldn't drive. My friend Karen had to pick me up from my house earlier in the day for the party. Another friend was gonna drop me back home after the party. The friend that was my ride back was no where to be found though. I couldn't even reach the damn Lesson :always have a plan A,B,C,D.

I had to go find Karen to let her know whats up. Oga Dimples still got up and followed me... I could feel him behind me. I wasn't really checking for him though,cos I had to get outta there and fast. Karen was wasted and i knew the girl didn't even understand all i was saying to her. lol. I was a lil frustrated though. I went over to the boyfriend and told him i needed a ride and fast. He was like Dimples just went to get his keys so he could drop me off. Imagine my surprise na. I was like "ok Thank you!".  He heard me talking to K i suppose. Thank God for his thoughtfulness. I waited for a little and Dimples came through.

We went downstairs together and got into the car. Oh! he opened the door for me and did the whole walk around to his side. lol At that time i wasn't really paying attention to the sweet gesture cos i was just interested in getting to my destination on time. hahaha. I gave him the address and he gps'ed it. Music on and seat belts checked, we were on our way. It was supposed to be a 40min drive. The comfortable car got me mehn... The leather seats plus the ac and the r&b station! The guy never even drive out of the apartment complex gate and i was gone! gone i tell you! Dont judge me biko. I was so exhausted and my body no be firewood. lol. That was a stupid thing to do though. Ladies never try that. There's alot of sicko's out there.

I opened my eyes at the last freeway exit to my house. I was embarrassed i had fallen asleep on the guy so i just kept my cool and tried to get myself together. He was just silent, driving. He wasnt really talkative i gathered. I also realized one thing then, this strange guy was going to my family's house. Haaaa... mba nu. No. He wasnt gonna come in but still i couldnt have a guy dropping me off at night. In my head i started plotting the safest place i would tell him to stop me. Silly i know but if you're bred Nigerian and a girl Im pretty sure you will understand me. We are never old enough to our parents. It was a gated community so I figured i would just tell him to stop me in front of the gate.

We got to the gate and i spoke for the first time since we got into the car. I was like thank you for the ride, I'm getting off here. He was surprised. He then said he didn't mind dropping me in front of my house. That made me smile...see this oyibo child. You do not understand my struggle life  It was a really tempting offer though cos my house was way down the lane. I politely shook my head. No thanks Oga mi. I came up with my cover story there o! I think i told him i was a night runner and i was gonna use that opportunity to get my workout on. Chai! workout in this painful shoes i was

I think he understood me and he didn't push. Bless his heart i thought. He just did this low key laugh thing that also had me crack up a lil. I wanted to hug him goodbye and say "God bless you...You are a gentleman and wont you ask for my number?". I didnt say any of those things I think i just said, "drive safe back and thank you". Before he could even reply me, i opened the car door and i was gone! Luck was on my side cos on the exit lane a car was coming out and i just ran in. I kept running and praying to God he didn't follow me. I finally stopped for a min to catch my breathe and lose them shoes. I saw flashing lights behind me. I turned around and watched the car pass me. Nope! it wasn't him. Oh The disappointment... I felt that in my stomach. First time that happened and o its not a good feeling. Shoes in hand this time...I ran away my sorrows all the way to my house. hahahaha

Friday, December 20, 2013

Open Letter To Don Jazzy and Dbanj

I was on Stella's blog 2 days ago and on the post about ex President Obasanjo's daugther's fake open letter, someone mentioned 2013 was the year of open letters. That comment had me cracking up so hard but it also inspired me to write my own open letter to a celebrity. lol. So here it goes...

               An Open Letter to Don Baba Jazzy and Banger Lee of Life Dbanj.

Holiday greetings to you good sirs. How una dey? I hope you two dey shine eye for all these weyre babes? Ah no mind Psquare o! Dont ever tell no girl they MUST chop your money. Even if na Genevieve. woman na woman. We too like money...hahaha.The only one wey get that license na una mama. Anyway sha wetin concern me. Thats not the point of this letter biko.

It was 2005 i think... the very first time i heard the song Tongolo! Yea i know...we was a little My friends and i hunted for everything we could about the song and that was the day i bought my first Aba made cd. The first time i spent money on a cd. Y'all are that speacial to me. I think it was the video cd we bought that day sef. One kind blurry something. We sha managed it and loved and treasured it till one of us broke the thing. lol. The cd that had a bunch of songs including kerewa. Remember Kerewa? I wonder where that musician is now sef. That song got us in plenty trouble with our teachers. That song and your song Tongolo. hahahaha... The teachers corrupted our minds o! Me i was just hearing song...they were hearing badt sometin. How that was supposed to be my business i no understand. Anyway i remember very well Tongolo was Track 10 mehn... That song had my life. Tongolo! Tongolo! I watched the video a 100 times! I knew the whole dance steps. Everything! That was when i fell in love with you guys! Seriously! Our Rove has come a long way.

In my FGGC we carried a bunch of rumors. hahaha.. I heard Don Jazzy couldnt talk so you talked for him. I heard no one could talk to him except I heard you had seven private jets and Don Jazzy had eleven. Ah i even started one that you (dbanj) was my Uncle's son. My gullible classmates believed me for a lil bit until they realized i was confarmed agbero park igbo babe. Who dash me Yoruba ties. It felt great to be tied to you for a lil though. I was/am a big stan mehn..

Then came Fall in Love...My jam of life.! I never ate sweet potatoes but after hearing my sexzzy Dbanj say the word, i was rushing to eat that orange stuff. Then Suddenly! My favorite Dbanj and Don Jazzy song of all time! Of all time people *Kanye West voice! lol.  I cant ever get tired of that song mehn...I got the lyrics both Yoruba and Igbo inside my head. They are not going anywhere. NEVER!

How about Loke? whenever i listen to that song im dancing with my imaginary Yoruba groom. cough*Dbanj** Cough cough im Kidding! Hahaha... Loke O Loke *doing the leg together hand on head dance**

Igwe! that's what we Igbo's call you two. You both go hand in hand! Equals. No one better pass to me. Unu abuo bu osi na nwata buru ogara anya! Amazing feat you both have accomplished.

My two Mr Endowed... why o why did you both leave me without warning? Last year abi is it this year...Not sure sha cos it feels like y'all been divorced like forever. Anyway when i heard the news of y'all going your separate ways my heart literally broke. Seriously! I felt sick to the pit of my stomach cos i really dont stan for any artists but y'all. I felt that mehn and i have to say that was a low blow. Make it up to me will ya? #wipes-tears

How could you not care about us? I totally felt like the lil kid in the divorce. Why are my parents divorcing, i thought? Whose side do i take? I tried not to get into the heated debates on blogs and not be partial. I refuse to think people who made magic together would just break everything off like that. Im a firm believer in love, thats why im writing this open letter to beg, yes beg you guys to come back together.
Love conquers and forgives all. Im positive what ever it is that drove y'all apart has kids and a big mighty ar*e to focus on now. hehehehe...I didnt mention names o! Haaaa Na you know o! Once a cheater is not always a cheater. People do change. So why don't y'all kiss and make up? Huh? *batting eyelashes*** Come it for the kids? Please? Please?

 hahaha... Just in case my father sees this letter. I will deny deny deny. You cannot categorically prove this letter was from me. Hehehe...
Don Jazzy again...and Dbanj! Oga oooooooo!!! Naija salute! Ok im

Model bants! #leggo

Every girl for Naija looking for a lil fame and change be model now o!
-you enter studio snap picture. You be model. 
-you are tall and dress nicely. Your friends take good pictures of be model.
-you are beautiful with a well shaped oval face and can smize(smiling with your eyes) be model.
-you get good light for your baffroom and a nice hairstyle. You take picture for there, and get 50+ social media likes... you be model.
-you audition for Miss Abuja or Miss Sokoto even when your state of origin is Ebonyi. They no pick you o! But you be model anyway.
-your friend makes high end okirika shirts. He dash you one, you snap photo with it. He puts it up on Facebook and you get tons of pervy strangers likes and creepy comments. You be model.
-your mama Dey sell market. You dress up and snap photo infront of her store. She print the photo and Una use am make be model. You are modeling for your mothers kiosk. It's a proud thing baby... All join model thingz na...hehehe

Ok I'm writing this because we Nigerians can like to over do. We are westernized more than the people wey invent the western culture sef. Over do too dey worry us. Too aggressive and over the top. Our I must belong attitude turns my stomach sometimes.

In USA here you only hear about Ms USA and Miss different states in USA. Every other modeling thing is minor. For Naija? Ah na we do pass. Seriously this year alone I've read about and seen:

 1.Miss Nigeria-understandable. The most legit one. 
2.Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria-what? I'm lost. Then what's Ms Nigeria for?
3.Face of Peace Nigeria-huh? Nigeria ke? In peace? Since when? Abi you never hear of Oga anyi Boko haram? 
4.Face of Earth Nigeria-this one I don't even understand. We all know Nigerians don't recycle. Earth bu onye? What? 
5.Miss Century something something. This one that Nike ex beauty queen organized it. So the winner will be the most beautiful person for 100 years.! Hahahaha... I no fit laugh. Aunty Winner get back to me in ten years. Inu kwa oshi.
6.Miss Elite Model- I'm not sure what they do either. They're even having some controversy now. The girl wey win the thing last year is porting to a rival agency.hahahaha! Biko follow me and laugh. So it's all about the competition then? After the thing Una no dey take care of the models? Damn shame.
7.Miss Centenary- this one had me in stitches.! What? Lmbo! I'm so done with this. 
8. Miss Lux abi na Dove soap? Hahahaha...ok. We Stan for soaps now. No problem o! All join sha.

Truth be told I think thisbeauty pageant   organizers are just low key pimps. They search for fresh girls and pick the best. Then they market these girls via social media to celebrities and them horny thieving politicians we have. And we all know most models their achievements na to land celebs or South South governors. kill me o! I didn't mention names. 
Man ladies gotta get their life. The objectification  is sickening. I don't know why you think it's ok to have someone tell you you're not pretty enough. When in reality you slay all of them put together. All because of fame and asahewo fortune? Taaaaaa.! Y'all can have it. I'm out! 

'Tis the season to be giving

I wrote this days ago but I'm just now posting it. Today's topic is about giving to the people who need it. Many people go in on celebrities about giving to the poor or charities, while themselves sit and do nothing. Whats their excuse? "Eh I'm not a celeb, I don't make millions". How much do you think is enough? If you keep waiting till you make millions, auntie mi you gonna be waiting a long long time. How about now?

Lets see you have $100 and you want to use it to get shoes... but thing is you already have a whole bunch of shoes!.You know about the red cross? you know about the various disasters happening and the help line numbers to call to donate what you can? How about you do that? You do not have to have millions before you can help. OK even if you don't have about the clothes sitting there in your closet? The excess shoes? Sure you know there are people going without? Clothes you haven't worn in a long while... you can package those and give them away. Give them to the orphanage or goodwill stores. Try and do your part before calling out someone else. Hypocrisy is not Godly people.
Thing is these celebrities work mighty hard for their money and if they do not want to give, its their damn business. Its their call not yours. You do not insult and abuse them and then call on God to not bless them anymore. In Nigerian Language its always the popular "God punish you idiot! you will die..." etc etc. Really? Work on your self first before you start calling on someone. And even if you give, that doesn't mean you should go about hollering at other people.

I have to shout out Linda Ikeji. She is a Nigerian blogger and this holiday season, to show appreciation to her readers, she gave away almost two million naira on her blog to her readers. I was amazed and blown away by her generosity. Its not even the giving away money part, its that she actually shared it to different people. People with names and real problems. God bless her.
Something about celebrities i see that give i sometimes shake my head at. Some of them just chose a Charity and sign the check to them, Not caring about how the money is used. The money could be shared among the officials there and they have no idea. To them, they have done their part. Thats a little sad sha. I totally love the placing a face to the money part like Linda did. Thats is more personal and direct and amazing. The signing check to charities is amazing God bless and replenish all their pockets. Amen!

Another example and one of my fav Nigerian celebrities is David o. Im a fan of his music and ive seen he is always generous to people too. His past birthday dude bought a whole bunch of food stuff and toys for different orphanages. I was in awe! But when i heard what people were saying about his giving i was appalled!. I couldn't believe people that HAVEN'T given anything in their lives were insulting him for taking pictures of what he was giving to the orphanages! I was like what? that all you sad lots got from this? Pictures? How about God bless you DavidO. God go make you bigger.? He gave children truck load of food and toys and bought clothes! He didnt have to but he did! And all you can do is hate and abuse him for taking pictures at the orphanages? He has done his godly duty. What have you done? Sit and type vile and hateful words? God help people mehn...

This is the season to give. Make someone smile today. Don't worry about what people will say. If you want to give. Give. If ya don't want to. Don't. No one is forcing you to. Giving should come from the heart. You give and do not expect anything in return. That's the way it should be. God bless y'all givers and non givers this season and for ever more. Amen!

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Oya Suddenly

The living room and dining room was packed full with people. Karen be social butterfly na so I wasn't surprised. The babe knew alot of people and she is very likable and a joy to be around. Seriously one of the best people I know. 

I felt weird holding Dimples hand so I just slowly let it go. He turned around immediately but before he could say Jack Robison I was gone. lol. Lost in the crowd. hehehe :) Actually my friend Tracy was the one that dragged me into the dining room. We were trying to catch up over the loud music, and just then Suddenly by Dbanj came on. That was my jam then yo! Im not Yoruba but I could sing the Yoruba verses so well. Dbanj and Don Jazzy had my life when they were together. I'm one of the fans still holding on and praying they get back together. I miss them! I want them back making cool music for me :(:(:( #wipestears. lol. 

Trace and I made it to the dance area in the living room. Now I'm not one to brag but I'm a pretty good dancer. ESpecially if its Nigerian Music. I love Nigerian/Ghanaian music. I'm not really into the Foreign music eg. American music. It's just ** I can stand some but I Stan for no artists. 

Beyonce's digital album just came out and my friends won't let me hear word. Doesn't matter how much I shout I don't care! hahaha.  

Well I was danced my lil heart out for a min. After Suddenly, Loke and Igwe all Dbanj's music played I was burnt out. The home dj had me in mind and i thanked him well. lol. My friends Trace and Jimmy still weren't tired though. Me I sha tire and had to go. Besides I had to go check on my pies. As I was walking to the kitchen I felt someone following me. I turned and heard that same I had forgotten about Dimples! I smiled at him and walked with him back into the kitchen.

I made sure my pies were good and I sat down to talk with Dimples. I really really liked his smile but i didnt tell him o! Who get that kind liver. But I did tell him to talk a little slowly so I could understand his accent. The thing sweet to hear but na another case to understand am. 
My phone interrupted the conversation we were just starting to have... Oh good gad I thought. But can a girl just breathe? lol. 

Monday, December 16, 2013

Lets start with Dimples

I was a nervous mess as we cleaned up the floor. It was just mostly embarrassment o! Dimples just kept saying something(i wasnt really listening)and chuckling. I just wanted him gone so I can get myself together.. I didn't really need his help cleaning. #independentwoman. Hey! Hahaha

When we finished I got some more water and went back to my baking. He then pulled out the stool and sat down on the opposite side of the kitchen counter. He was right in front of me with the counter full of my baking mess separating us. The light was directly above and I still couldn't see his face clearly. My vision was still badly blurred. I could feel him there though. Eyes on me. I wanted to ask him why he was sitting there and staring instead if going to the party in the living room, but I kept mute. lol. I honestly wanted him gone and not a conversation.

I kept my eye on the clock behind me in the microwave. Thirty minutes and the guy was still sitting there. Watching me make meatpies and not saying anything. I was so uncomfortable. Thank God I didn't drop nothing!lol. It was annoying though but just when I was about to say Biko leave na...Karen's boy friend walked into the kitchen. 

He was surprised to see Dimples sitting there. He too grab chair come Siddon infront of me. I wanted to scream then! You guys should leave! Uncomfortable no dey their dictionary?lol. 

Karen's boyfriend broke the ice and did the introductions. Thank He had the perfect name. His name was from the bible but I've never met anyone with the name. One of the prophets with his own book in the Old Testament. On this blog imma just refer to him as "dimples". Turns out he was K's boyfriend's cousin from outta town. They looked nothing alike though. Dimples was really light skinned like Oyibo pepper. K's boyfriend you no go fit see for dark o!lol. Later on I also learned they were best friends too. Same age, same character,

Dimples started talking again. That's when I heard the English accent. Honestly I couldn't really understand half of what he was saying. I didnt watch Harry Potter because of that reason. hahaha...! But I sha maintained. lol. He kept smiling as he was talking though. Still couldn't see his face but I could see his dimples. They were so deep and I just wanted to reach out and put my finger in them. I didn't o! That would have been weird. 

My pies were in the oven and K's boyfriend got the drink he came for and left. Dimples was still there. I was all settled and calm now and since the ice been broken, I walked around the counter and took the seat K's man just vacated. I turned to him and I heard him say, "I know I will be seeing you again". My eyes nearly jumped out of the sockets! He started laughing. Then he stood up, extended his hand and asked me to dance with him. I loved his smile and his laugh, so I took his hand. :):)

Flush Flush

When it comes to bathroom/restrooms Im so obsessive! I clean it thoroughly. I have loads of air fresheners and bathroom cleaners. The scent has to be on point and my bathroom decor has to appeal to me. My bathroom is my sanctuary. I do not joke with it. I actually eat in there sometimes. Yea...its that

That's where i go to meditate. That's normally where i pray to God in the mornings. That's where i sit and catch up on the latest happenings on blogs. Its also my photo studio. lol
My bathroom is just a room that has to be spotless. You don't understand how happy i get when i go somewhere and they have a clean and sweet smelling bathroom. My best friends house has one of the best bathrooms ever! Its always spotless, and when ever i go there i am comfortable like its my own bathroom. lol

I share my bathroom with my mum and little niece and nephew and they know to keep it clean.  I have little rules for You don't leave your towel around. You do not spill water on the floor. If you take a shower and there is soap scum on the bath tub, biko carry sponge and scrub it off before you exit. That is how we get along. lol

Scatter scatter everywhere o but as long as the bathroom is clean. Im good.
 Also, I have little patience for people that clog toilets. I hate it and I cant stand it. I mean how hard is it to poo? You poo poo, You flush the toilet. Then you clean yourself, throw in the Tissue, you flush again. Simple. I don't know why people think its ok to poo and clean yourself, then flush it together. Hello! the toilet is not super man. Its gonna clog. You sef know say your shit big. The toilet wont magically break it down. You do it one at a time. Flush poo first, then flush again to make sure its all gone. Then you can proceed to flush the tissue after you clean yourself. Lesson 101 Hahaha. I'm a mess.

Ah im venting cos a family friend stayed over and clogged my toilet last night. Argh!!!!!!! Now i have to unclog and Disinfect the whole bowl. URRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Sex And The City.

Yea i really am talking about sex and the city. The one you know. The tv show starring Sarah Jessica Parker as the main lead character Carrie Bradshaw. 

The name of the show speaks for itself. It's about Sex a group of friends are having with the men in New York City.
Now if you don't watch the show or you've never heard of it, it's a really big show. When it was on air it won numerous awards for the actors and had huge ratings.

The show ended in like 2005 or so. It was on air for like 6 years and had a bunch of seasons. Five seasons I think. It's mainly a "chick" show but some guys I know watched it cos there was a lot of sex scences with boobs and butt in all it's

I knew about the show but I never saw it. Three years ago or so when a movie about it came out in theaters I got dragged to go see it by my friend. I saw it but I didn't really follow the story cos you know I never saw the show. lol. I liked the fashion though, also all the female characters are hot and everything about them was on point. 

So Last week my friend Tash was gushing about her all time favorite show. You guessed it...Sex and le city. lol. She had the dvd's and since I was clueless she gave me a couple of them to go watch. I got home that night and started watching it. Tash had said the show was powerful and inspiring to women and uplifting and empowering and etc etc... That's why it won alot of awards and the four female leads are bonafide A listers in Hollywood. 

I got to watching and I have to say that 
1. The four friends were all college grads with degrees and good jobs.
2. They had each others back. The relationship the ladies had on screen was one you dreamed about. Having trustworthy and loyal and honest people you can count on is priceless. I loved that about the show. 
3. I love the humor and the banter. It's a little funny. ESP the character Charlotte. She's very cute and I think she's the most beautiful of them all. 

Ok now let me get to business. Critic on
No need for numbers Let me just get this out of the way Carrie Bradshaw and her friends are the definition of "ho-es". You know the more formal word being "Whores". I watched the first 2seasons with my mouth open. Them ladies jump into bed on the first date, they hump guys at the word hello (, they date a new guy each episode. They have sex without condoms and have no filter. My gosh! I couldn't believe this glorified "asahewo" show got all them awards and rave reviews. Is this what feminism is all about? Have your job and show you can get and sleep with any guy  you want? Dang! I was appalled. I mean if this was a show with an all black cast it would be tagged ratchet ghetto hoes and how it's a shame that women are being portrayed as man prowling, desperate, bed hopping whores. Urgh let me stop here for now. I'm not sure if I'm gonna watch the remaining seasons. Also the whole Mr Big and Carrie relationship just had me like #yuck, vomit. lol. I dont mean to be harsh guys but Will keep you posted if I do watch the remaining seasons. 

Unto us a Klutz is born. lol

Thank God the water pitcher was plastic so it wasn't in pieces. We just had to clean the water on the floor up. Yea! just clean up the water with my dignity intact. lol. That was hard but I faked my straight face well. I'm too much of a klutz so I am kinda used to faking my straight face. 

Remember I said I never cooked when I was younger? Well part of the reason was because my mother was too scared I was going to hurt myself. My brothers called me "Break Baby" lol. Everything I held in my hand ended up on the ground. The glass plates in the kitchen were scared of me. I broke them for a living. The cups too and the water flasks used for storing hot water. Everything breakable I laid my hands on ended up on the floor. The food too. The lady that cooked for us once asked me to wash the yam she was gonna make for my dad. The bowl fell on the concrete ground outside and the yams ended up on the floor. I didn't want to get in trouble so I picked them all up and proceeded to wash them. I thought I got them all clean. Well not so much cos my dad couldn't eat them. He chewed on stones and had to call the cook to come eat the food she made. She ate the yams in front of my dad and my siblings and I could literally hear her crunching on them stones. She was embarrassed and I felt so guilty and sorry for her. She took the blame that day and that was the last time she ever asked me to help her in the kitchen. I didn't do it on purpose to get out of house chores though. I was just always nervous and too much of a "shaky shaky". lol

My mum once had me cut onions and I nearly chopped my pinky finger off. The blood was every where. Mum was hysterical that day and promised me I will never have to cook a day in my life. lol. I think I was like 11 or so. Another incident I remember was when I tried to fry plantain for myself and my siblings. I fried it and finished o. The yawa was when I had to get the frying pan off the stove. I ended up spilling hot groundnut oil all over my left foot.! It was 8pm at night that day with no Nepa light! My big bro had to carry me in his arms and run to the nearest clinic. After that I was banned from the kitchen as long as i lived in that Like really if any family member saw me in there they'd report me to my mum or dad and i'd get in big trouble. Hahaha! #ajebutterthingz

When I moved to the States I stayed away from the kitchen for a while. My sister (i lived with her then) told me that if I want hunger to kill me, I can like to keep staying out of the kitchen. It was a rough start at first. I broke alot of plates and cracked a bunch of spice bottles. I was always cleaning up one mess or the other and my sister never helped me. That evil She was like I should keep breaking and cleaning and that will teach me. It sure did. As I got into it I became better and less nervous and excited. I took my time and always used caution. We also replaced most glass things with plastic. As years went by I got better and better but I still got about 30% of the clumsiness left in me. lol. I still drop stuff and fall and scream whenever I'm startled. Also I'm still trying to explain to my dad that I can't be a surgeon. Can't be in the O.R holding the scalpel and being a shaky mess. lol. But trust Naija parents to call anything you say contradicting them a bunch of bull. I will survive though. 

Thanks for visiting my blog and reading :):)

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Leo's Dimples

My Friend Karen was having her birthday party at her apartment. The big 25! For weeks she didn't let person hear word because na so so birthday talk she dey vomit. Hahaha... It was a mile stone birthday so who could blame her. Not me
I met Karen on facebook. Facebook o! Facebook. I remember back in 2007 i had just opened my page and i didn't have alot of friends so I'd just click on add friend on any one's picture i thought looked good on my homepage. She said hi to me a couple of years later after l liked her picture and that's how we became friends.! I met her a year later cos after graduation, she got a job in the city i lived in.

K is my big sister. One of the best people i know! She is amazing and we get along just fine despite the age difference between us. She is tall, dark skinned and so gorgeous. She taught me how to sew in my own weave, and how to shop for clothes without spending so much. We had little in common cos i am more reserved while Ms K is the life of the party. Anyway you get the picture.
She gave me the food contract for the party. I'm an amazing cook if i may say so myself. lol. I love cooking for people. The weird thing is i never cooked anything when i lived in Nigeria. My mother did all the cooking and i watched sometimes. When i got to the states, i started cooking and i was surprised i was pretty good. i love it when i cook and give out to friends and they ask for more. it makes my day.!
I knew it was going to be a big party with mostly Naija youth so i brought my A game. The day of the party i cooked everything from fried rice, to jollof rice to goat meat pepper soup. I also made meat pies. it was a Delicious  and appetizing setting.

The party was a full house! About 50 friends gathered to celebrate K. Her boyfriend was looking all handsome and proud of his girl. They were so cute and everyone kept oohing and ahhing over them. Ah! Young professionals in love. Hot couple. Who doesn't like or want that? lol
I had lost my glasses the day before so i could barely see peoples faces. I just winged it though as i said hi to people. I was frustrated because i really wanted to scope out the fine guys. hahaha. Well that didn't work cos the lights were blinding and my vision was all blurry. I retreated to the kitchen to make more meat pies. Did i forget to mention i made like 60 meat pies and somehow they were gone within minutes! The real party never even start then o. It made me happy though...that meant i made them good!

I went to work in le kitchen to whip up another batch. The music was loud and i was swaying to the songs in the kitchen. You cant hear Naija music playing and just stand there like standing fan. lol. You move. You shake something. You let loose. Don Jazzy dont make those beats for nothing. hahaha. I loved that i was by myself and having a good time. I turned to the sink to get a pitcher of water and just then i heard a voice right behind me say something. I was so startled i dropped my pitcher and water splashed all over the floor and on us. I turned to the strange voice  and started apologizing.  I could knew it was a guy but i had water and shame in my eyes so i didn't really want to see his face. The strange voice started laughing and saying sorry too. He handed me a rag to clean my myself. That's when i looked at him. I still couldn't really see his face cos he was standing right under the lights. I could see one thing on his face clearly though...his deep dimpled cheeks. Mr Dimples ;)

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Wash me tender. Appreciate if not I no dey do.

I've been at my job for about 2years now. It used to be so stressful and emotionally and physically draining but not anymore. I now have a grip on things and I can stand my ground and speak up for myself. It took me a while to get to this place though. I sha suffered well well. That is gist for later. I've got a lot of stories to tell. 

The healthcare professionals esp nurses, doctors, pharmacists, lab techs don't really get the holidays off. By holidays I mean Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year's Day, Independence, Labour Day etc etc. We are open for business 24/7,365 days a year. You know No day is guaranteed to us humans. You fit get accident Christmas Day (God forbid) and I'm sure you won't wanna rush to the hospital and see the doors
My dad is a doctor and I remember when i was younger I wondered why he had to work during Christmas holiday. That's when he explained it to me using my example above. I never questioned his movements during the holidays again. lol.

Ok so most hospitals here rotate the holiday schedule of their staff so no one feels cheated. My place of work at the beginning of the year assigns you the holiday you will work, and the ones you will have off. For instance if you work on thanksgiving day, you will be off on Christmas Day but you will work Christmas Eve. Then if you work Christmas Day, you have New Years Eve off but work New Years Day. Am I confusing you? lol. I swear it's real easy to keep track of cos it's in our Employee account. I work at a very big hospital so they keep track of all that on the computer. 

Now that is just formality. You can do whatever you like with your holiday days. By whatever I mean you can trade with a coworker or you can work for them(cover their shift) without trade. It's the holidays and the management is real flexible. 
Ok now on my floor (4th), you have people that don't just want to work any holidays. The ones that think say na onli them get family. This past thanksgiving I heard the flimsiest excuses...

"Nov 28th is my son's birthday...".
"Nov 28th is my wedding anniversary." This one no even try to lie sef. Her marriage wey don collapse since that she's still trying to milk. 
Another one was, Nov 28th my mother is coming into town from Switzerland. This one just like to name drop her country of origin. Every time na so so Swiss this, Swiss that... All of us don tire to dey hear the Tory. It's like hello your country celebrates Thieves. Errr we steal from our country then hide it in yours. My friend take a seat with that accent i I love her accent, can't even pretend to hate. Different characters I work with. 

Our manager can like to listen to their useless excuses though. Then she takes them off the schedule and leaves the people working shorthanded. That can be very annoying,having to do extra work. When I become a clinical manager I'm so asking for proof. "It's your son's birthday? Where's the birth certificate hon? You don't have it? Request denied.! Git your behind to work liar liar pants on fire.". lol. 

I've never minded working the holidays though. Please...I get paid double. My village is in Naija so im good with that. I'm the go to girl for my coworkers to ask for a cover on their working holiday. I've done it for the past 2years. This year though, like 3days before thanksgiving, I overheard them talking about me in the break room. Becky the girl I was covering her shift for thanksgiving was saying something like, she wishes their was alot of me. Cos then her friend Ann wouldn't have to work on thanksgiving either. Thats she means Me and the "other" me will cover them both. Then another worker said she (I) never have nothing doing on Thanksgiving anyway. I might as well make ten of myself and cover all of them. My friend and I were standing right outside the door and we heard laughter! There was alot of them in the room including my manager! dang! That stung a lil but right there i hatched my plan. 

The schedule had me off Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Why? That's because I worked Labor Day and 4th of July. I knew they were gonna rush to ask me to work for them. So i waited and got my head ready to turn left and right if asked the will you work for me question. And boy it's been so  sweet turning all of them down. Revenge is sweet. I feel great! Joyous even! That outta teach them. They've been coming day in day out trying to get me to change my mind. I'm still like "No"! 

My manager called me in this morning and washed me. I figured they've talked to her about She came Talking about how I am a great team player and hard worker and blah blah blah. She then asked for my help on Christmas Day. I politely declined. She asked me what im doing that day and I said I want to sleep and eat.  Oh you should have seen her face. Their poor little "slave" girl turned them all down. I said thank you for the acknowledgement and walked out. This ain't the fifties yo! I can totally do that now. Appreciate what you've got. Forget the money...y'all gotta learn to respect someone. Sheesh ;)

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

8years on... Gone but Never Forgotten.

Today we remember the 60kids and all the other passengers who lost their lives in the Sosoliso plane crash 8years ago.
They're gone from this cruel world and resting in peace with The Lord.
May The Lord continue to give their families the grace and strength to continue living knowing that their loved ones are in Heaven. Amen! 
Our guardian angels... We love and miss you all. 

Monday, December 9, 2013

Of Bathrooms and Showers...

I work night shifts so you know that by the time morning comes, I'm a sweaty mess. So tell me why I still smell better than my oncoming co workers Biko? This matter just aggravates me! 

Ok so oyibo people, most of them I work with anyway have this thing they do. They don't shower in the mornings! Why you may ask? My dear Because they showered the night before o, they think it's ok to not repeat the shower again in the morning. I've been told severally by different people i know that showering in the morning may make them late to work or school. What? 

Oh c'mon! Showers take 5-10mins! So jumping in and washing your body in the shower for a couple of mins will make you late? How? Don't you have alarm clock? I'm confused...
It's not like they have to go through what I went through and some of my Naija people today still go through most mornings. You have to wake up and go fetch water at the nearest tap, then come home and boil the water. Mix it up and go take a bath. But its not so for them! The shower is right there! Like right there inside their bedroom and infront of their korokoro eyes! And its Got running hot water! Like how hard is it Biko? I won't ever understand it.

How can I? I've been through the no water phase. When I was in Nigeria, I had to wake up at the crack of dawn most mornings and load up my Jerry cans in the wheelbarrow. With sleepy eyes and a tired body I make my way to the bore hole to pay for my water and fill up my cans. Then I have to wheel the heavy Jerry cans back to my house and pour them all into the big water drum. It was the hard life o! Chei! I don't miss I appreciate the experience though...made me into the grateful girl I am today. 

Americans are too spoiled mehn...Some of them I want to shake vigorously and say appreciate what you have!!!!!!!!! Good gad! What some people in less privileged countries/places would do to be in your shoes. 
This is just the case of not knowing what you have... Smdh**

Sunday, December 8, 2013

My Korean Lover! His name is Min Ho

His name is Lee Min Ho! And he is all kinds of FIONE!!!! Oh my gash! I love him totally and I can't wait till I get enough money to go to Korea and kidnap him!
We'd make really cute babies together. Just look at him! Swoon <3 :):)

Nothing is gonna ruin ours baby :)
I'm coming for you :*

That gaze! Ah! When I get him...imma lock him up in the room and we will just stare at each other. Stare fireworks and

Lee min Ho is a Korean actor. He is 26 and very He's the one that made me fall in love with Korean Tv Shows cos he is one brilliant actor. Google him! He's like the Chris Hemsworth of
Forget about subtitles, just try and watch a Korean drama on Netflix or drama They are amazing and much better than some American tv shows. Their actors are so beautiful too! Start with Lee Min Ho's collection though. Boys over Flowers, City Hunter(my fav), Personal Taste, Faith. Faith has a stupid ending, too annoying but it's a good show. 

I love him! He is too And I hear he's amazing in real life. Humble and kind and etc etc... Language and Distance won't touch us! You just wait and see! lol. 

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Lesson today is be yourself... My mother is a Joy!

This wedding mkpokwa Oku na onu! My mother is here cracking me up! The woman is too funny but she really doesn't know it. Sometimes when she does or says something funny she'd think we are laughing at her but really we are laughing with her. She's so cute. 
I know some people are like, "I can't go to parties with my mother". but for me that's not the case o!  Most Naija parties I go to, I go with my mum and she is so much fun. She will get up and dance with me, we'd gossip about people...etc etc. We have fun. lol.
Ok so we were at this traditional wedding last night/tonight and we sat at this table with a bunch of able women. That's what We call the Naija obodo oyibo nurses here. You know they are working their butts off and getting that money. Most of them are single handedly taking care of their families, so my mum and I refer to them as able women. 

Well through out the night they kept talking about their kids and their achievements. One said her daughter got into Harvard for dental school, the other said Princeton. The other lady with the prettiest eyes and skin i had ever seen said her son was graduating MIT next year. I was listening and was impressed o! I starting feeling a little inadequate so I turned to my mother...

Me: mummie ah brag on me too na. See them bragging about their children's schools.
Mum: let them talk na... Your school dey for our backyard. Ke ka anyi ga esi bragiiaa ya? ( how we go take brag that
Me: ehn don't tell them that one. Tell them me too got into Harvard. 
Mum: which one is that?
Me: it's the no 1 school in America. 
Mum: Hian! Chim o! Lekwa Anya ukwu(see greediness). So na number 1 dey hungry you? Nne ehn...people like you do not know how to lie. You are going for number 1? Start lower... Like number 5. Make it more believable. 
Me: lmbo! Ok o! Mummie. Oya tell them Rice.
Mum: Rice? I thought you said you wanted to lose weight? I saw you eat a plate already. I haven't married you off o! Slow down Biko. 
Me: Rotflmao! Mummie o! Mummie! Jisox o! Ah! I don't mean that rice o! I mean Rice University. Rice wu aha (is the name of) a very famous University na Texas. 
Mum: rice? Rice? Gini na ari ndi Ocha?( what wrong with Oyibo people?). What kind of name is Rice for a school? Them get beans? lol
Me: lmbo

Anyway we both got weak from laughter and transferred the excitement to the dance floor. Trying to be someone you are not is hard work Biko. I will stick with my state school. 
And o you know the woman that said her child got into Harvard Dental school? I met the daughter and she said its Howard Dental school. I actually laughed and she wondered why I was laughing. lol.
Moral of the story? Be yourself. Love yourself. God go make you bigger. :)

Can we start already? Food please!

Naija parties here are really really fun! Lots of food! Great music! And Lots of eye candy...well that's if you pray hard enough before you go. 
My only problem is the time. I mean invitation will say 9pm but just know the party doesn't start till midnight. And people won't get there till 2am.! Good gad! It's very very irritating to me. Mostly cos I like to be on
I'm not a party animal but my mum knows a lot of able Naija women and they can like to throw party for everything.! Summer time is my favorite time cos every parent shows up and throws lavish graduation parties for their kids. High school o, college o! Med school o...any one you graduate, you getting a party. And know that people are going to come and make it rain. This one grad party I went to last August, still my fav one to date. The parents of the girl were very able people. They were in all kinds of Key Clubs and the members of the Clubs showed up and showed off on this babe. I mean one man sprayed like 5grand on home girl. Not 1's, not 5's but 50's and 100's! Chei! My aunt calls those kind of people "ndi ovooo ego". Omo  ehn my mother stylishly asked about him so we could you know find out if he had a son.*wink wink** don't judge us. lol. Turns out his son is 7years old. Hahaha... See bad market. I can't wait 11years Abasi mbok! 
Also this One time my mum and I went for this one year old's birthday for a really close family friend. I no see any pikin for that place o! The able gele tying women there would have had you thinking it was the mothers birthday. It was a great party though and as usual it was a past midnight soirĂ©e. 

Well I'm sitting here and it's past midnight and this traditional wedding is yet to start. The invitation said 7pm prompt. I laugh in Spainsh... Ah sigh... I need to go home. I love the music they are sha blasting but if occasion no start how person go take chop party jollof rice and meat.? I slept and woke up and my mother practically dragged me here. #tears! Biko people make Una hurry...this little Igbo girl is hungry :(:(:(